RUSHING HOME TO MY KIDS

Every Friday after work we have this trend of hanging out with friends just to catch up over few drinks and to take away the stress that we experience during the week, and I usually call that act (Kuvusela emabandla). For quite some time I have been noticing that when my friend Bhuda prepares to leave, he would say “eish guys I need to hurry home to my kids”. I know Bhuda very well, he stays with his wife and their two kids, but my worry is that him rushing to his kids, does it mean that he doesn’t include his wife among the people he needs to hurry to? After consulting with other people on this statement that I find peculiar, the response was that nothing was wrong with it. So the explanation was that every man’s wife is counted among his kids; in short if you are rushing home to your kids your wife is included. Really? Is that the case? Are they our kids too?

In today’s world can we say they are our kids? After calling them our better halves, following a lot of changes that has happed in today’s society, after a lot has been said on gender equality. After noting this, it made me think on the status of women in today’s society and I discovered that we still have a role to play in accommodating as well as implementing the concept of equality. Gender is arguably the most discussed phenomenon. It is the most controversial topic causing never-ending disagreements amongst peers who might agree on other issues but gender. It is a case of gender in economics, politics, gender in religion, gender in education and gender everywhere. Its dominance in socio-political and economic forums have triggered a lot of research on it (gender) which gave birth to gender studies, a relatively intriguing field of study which have taken the education arena by storm, and undoubtedly is showing significant signs of dominance. That’s how serious the gender issue has become.

It is precisely the socio-cultural and politically constructed roles and responsibilities ascribed to women and men that change over time, context specific and are inseparable from power relations. It is an open secret that gender studies world-over were and are motivated by observable disparities in the treatment of men and women in the societies. Such disparities ended up influencing the socialization process to the extent that certain imbalances were eventually considered to be the societal norms. Religious teachings also perpetuate gender imbalances, for an example; the Muslim Q’uran teaches women to be house wives and men to be providers, such that in some instances a need for a girl to be educated is not seen as a necessity. In Yemen a number of parents were asked on why they did not allow their girls to go to school, and the response from most of them was that its wrong, its irreligious, its improper. Instead of them going to school they should stay home to prepare for their real life, their married life. An article that was published early this month (Malala Yousufzai of South Waziristan in Pakistan) also report on a young girl who was attacked for being vocal on education for girls. On the other hand men are allowed to marry up to four wives, a practice not permitted to women. The Christian bible is also used to perpetuate gender imbalances as some Christian denominations do not ordain female pastors. They base their resolve on early Jewish teachings combined with teachings of Apostle Paul who taught that women should not stand up and testify in church. Paul, in the book of Corinthians went to the extent of advising women not to even ask questions in church, but to wait until they reach home to ask their husbands.

 Traditional family and societal practices, especially African and Asian, are a serious cause for concern when it comes to gender issues. For example; in Swaziland women are particularly left out when important family or community decisions are made. They are actually considered minors more junior in status even to their male children. Politics are not spared the bruises of gender discrimination and imbalances. According to the SADC report all its member states are miles away from achieving a 50-50 representation of men and women in parliament, cabinet and other positions of power. Swaziland is reportedly struggling even to achieve a 20% parliament representation. All these have contributed to man rushing home to their kids, wife counted among the kids.

At least someone or something triggered the realization that such age-old practices may be gender imbalances, and the fact that for a long time they have been suppressing our sisters, potential and actual better halves, aunts and mother. Has the time not come for man especially the youth to stand up, role up their sleeves and begin taking the steps of promoting gender equality? It begins with a single step and it begins with you.

Eish guys it’s getting late, I better get home to my kids. lol